A gay veteran’s lament

Serena Hayden, a veteran of the United States military, speaks of her experience serving as a gay soldier under “don’t ask, don’t tell,” and of its ramifications with regard to American values:

I joined the United States Army as a public affairs specialist in 2003, fully aware of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” and the repercussions a gay soldier could possibly face. I fought beside the finest men and women, fully knowing I was fighting to protect the freedoms of many who do not approve of homosexuality.

I wrote this five years ago during my service, as I felt the need to express my feelings, secretly, about being gay and in the military:

As a citizen of a democratic society, with freedom as its foundation and core, I stand, proud to serve my country and defend all this nation stands for. I am prepared to fight for and protect freedom in our homeland. I am also prepared to fight for others, so that those who do not understand or feel the slightest bit of freedom may share and know the freedoms that we have been blessed with as Americans. Yet in that alone, there is a world of irony: I am not free, we are not free.

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Jake Alter is an intern for projects on religion and the public sphere at the SSRC and a former contributor to here & there. He is currently a senior at Haverford College, where he is pursuing a major in religion, a minor in political science, and a concentration in Middle East studies, with a focus on the role that Islam plays in the political dynamics of Muslim-majority nations.

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